“Cleaning the house with a toddler is like trying to rake leaves during a tornado.”
“Sleeping with a toddler is like sharing your bed with a drunk octopus looking for its car keys!”
“The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.” - Ramblin Mama
“You can say “please” and “thank you” a million times and your toddler will never repeat it, but if you say “a**-faced mother f*****” ONCE…” - Henpecked Hal
“Toddler rule #1: Always supervise your Mom’s bathroom trips.”
Just because you can thrill a toddler by chewing with your mouth open doesn't mean you should. - Michael Nesmith