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Pregnant during a pandemic No.1

Pregnant during a pandemic – what women are going through and missing out on

Everyone is affected by the pandemic. We are all missing out on something, we are all forced to be less social, are more isolated from friends and family, and need to take extra precautions to stay healthy. We need to face uncertainty, we need to adapt. 

Well, that’s something pregnant women always had to do anyway, but now there is an extra layer to it. Being an expectant mother, you might have had certain expectations or dreams of how your experience could look like. Things you were looking for in this particular phase of your life, that now, you have to give up on. Just remember, you’re not the only one experiencing it.   

Negative aspects of being pregnant during a pandemic and what expecting mothers are missing out on: 

x going to prenatal check-ups by yourself and for some, having to go through labor alone

There was only one visit so far, where my partner was not allowed to be with me and it felt very odd, unfair, lonely and it made me sad. Fortunately, he was there during all the other appointments so far. He heard the baby’s heartbeat with me for the first time and will also be allowed during childbirth. I cannot even imagine the pain, sadness, and helplessness that both parents are feeling who are not allowed to go through it all together. 

x going through this milestone of your life without your friends and family around

They might not be able to see you pregnant, which is kind of weird as it’s a big change in your life and an experience that you’ll most likely remember forever. Sooner or later all your loved ones will hopefully meet your little one, but they’ve missed the whole journey of you getting there. If you do keep in touch with your family and would normally see them more often, it’s really bizarre to think that your own mother won’t see you pregnant, touch your belly, feel the baby kick, just see her child carrying a new life, growing even more into a woman, a mother. It’s like people around you have suffered from a blackout. They saw you when you weren’t pregnant and they will see you again when you’re not pregnant anymore, but “suddenly” with a child. Of course, there are ways to share and keep in touch, but it does seem like a piece to the natural puzzle of life will be missing. 

x not much help from friends and family during pregnancy and the first weeks with the newborn

x little to no chance of connecting with other pregnant women, unless it’s online

x no childbirth class with hands-on activities

x no workout classes or any kind of workshops/meetups designed for pregnant women

x no “real” baby showers 

x limited amount of people seeing you with a bump 

Fewer conversations, fewer comments, fewer questions, fewer compliments, fewer congratulations.

x no pregnancy advantages like skipping lines or having priority seats on public transportation

x if you’re outside and need to pee, which you will have to, you’ve got a problem

With all the cafés and restaurants either being closed or only open for take-out with bathrooms closed, you’d better have a plan B or limit your time in public, or wear a diaper I guess.  

x you might need to skip anything you thought you would treat yourself to while pregnant, whether its a SPA day or going on a babymoon

x experimenting with cute maternity clothes and showing off your bump with style 

That might not be a big deal at all, but absolutely one more thing you might have been excited about, that you won’t be able to experience. 

Of course, there are always options and you can be creative with finding ways to do all you wanted to do, but there’s no question about it – you will have to adjust your expectations, it’s not gonna be the same. 

There are three main ways you can go about it: do it at home, do it virtually, or do it while social distancing. 

x online workout classes 

x online childbirth/breastfeeding etc. classes

x virtual baby showers

x taking more pictures and videos to share with family and friend

x for your babymoon organize a small trip with your partner, whether it’s just a one-day road trip or a weekend getaway. It might not be the dream vacation you wanted it to be, but I’m damn sure you can make it special and memorable 

x online shopping 

x at home SPA day

Another big aspect, which I’m sure is affecting a lot of pregnant women in particular is the mental health part of it all. The pandemic hasn’t been easy on anyone and there are a lot of people who are struggling more with anxiety, stress, loneliness than they ever have before. Well, imagine being pregnant on top of that. Your life is changing and you’re going through it without your close ones, your health is more important now than ever but all there is around seems to be a risk factor to your well-being, you’re supposed to bring a child to this chaotic world and all that while getting a full-on hit of hormones affecting your mood and changing your body in major ways. Pregnancy comes with a lot of uncertainty and worries as is (however, in general, when all is going well, I do believe it can be a pure source of joy). Yet now everything seems to be a little more complicated, more isolating, and even more uncertain. Visits to the doctor, with all the social distancing, hand sanitizers, and masks are way more unpleasant and “cold” than I imagine they would be otherwise. Whether it’s your first pregnancy or you have more children to take care of already, in both scenarios you might have wanted to rely on friends and family for help, with preparations, or with childcare. Now you and your partner might have to handle all of it alone.

The list could go on and on. There are so many things to consider and so many things pregnant women are going through during the pandemic, but remember, mama, you are strong.

I hope you see the good in it all and are able to take advantage of it, cause there are indeed beautiful, positive sides of being pregnant during a pandemic.